and the brits continue to do it better.....

"shark in the Water" by V.V. Brown sounds like a so cal summer jam. Suprise suprise it's from the U.K.

1,2, Freddy's Commin for you......

PLATINUM DUNES has had a checkered past with horror films. For one they’ve only made 2 ORIGIONAL films, and about a thousand remakes, including this one. They have been pretty evenly hit or miss for me. I LOVED the Texas chainsaw massacre, and its sequel. I HATED the Amityville Horror and THE Unborn, and thought The Hitcher was good, but not anything to write home about. Well, this time around they…..made the best remake possible given the source material.

I recently rewatched the first nightmare on Elm Street and was disappointed to realize how badly it has dated. Not just the “cheesy 80’s effects” that are easily overlooked for a lot of films of its time. The acting was atrocious, and the scares, though trend setting for its time, fall flat on this current jaded audience. I was actually looking forward to this remake as the actual plot is still creepy as hell and has tons of potential. This is Platinum Dunes best picture to date. That being said, I can’t help but feel like this film was held back from what it could have been had the filmmakers not felt obligated to pay homage to the original so much.

The cast is across the board good. The teens (who are all at LEAST 25 years old or older in real life, lol) are surprisingly likable, smart, and don’t waste time wondering what’s going on. Most thrillers have that obligatory scene where someone goes to the library and does some research and discovers the huge secret. That scene comes at about the half way point, and I appreciated the swift pacing. Also along the lines of pacing, the order in which the kids are killed was fantastic. Just when you start to relate to one girl, who I just assumed was the lead, gets killed in the first act! A nice “psycho”-esqu touch. However with such a swift pace comes a price, and that’s character development. The original had at least 2 or 3 scenes where the kids could just be kids, and you found out about who they were as people. Here we dive right in, which I guess is expected for a slasher film, but when it excels in every other category; I wish I was also able to say I actually LIKED some of the people dying on screen.

Jackie Earl Hailey was a genius idea to play Freddy. He won an Oscar to playing a molester in LITTLE CHILDREN after all. The writer and Hailey find the absolute perfect balance of sick twisted one liners, and foul menace. He’s not the goofball he became in the numerous and horrible sequels, but he’s not played completely straight either (he has a “wet dream” joke that was perfectly gross and funny at the same time).

Special Mention must be made to the cinematography and direction. The way the film slips into the kids dreams and back out again is really creative and handled differently every time, with lots of really cool details (like water drops running backwards as a hint to tip you off that you’re in a dream) and although there was plenty of gore, it was never gratuitous or over the top. This 'aint got nothing on hostel or saw in that department. It makes up for it though with its subject matter. They handle Freddy’s back-story head on, gross kiddy porn pics found in the basement and all. There’s even a scene where the teens remember just what Freddy had done to them, and one girl sees the photo’s Freddy took of her, and it’s disgusting and scary and…..not the kind of moment you’d find in a typical slasher.

I’d highly recommend this if you like suspense films. It’s not so much a “gore” movie, with the emphasis on visuals and creeping you out. I truly hope this film does well enough to re kick start this franchise. The “Dream” angle it has going for it really does have endless untapped possibilities, and this was a perfect reintroduction to one of film’s most famous villains.

brand new CHERYL COLE!!!!

This girl aint playin no GAMES!!!!! she's enlisted "dancing with the stars" people to coreograph and back her up in this new "retro" bond style number. the song is really good too, though not the best on her album "3 little words" and i'm not sure how i feel about how they speed up the pace so much. But here ya go:

the Devil is in the details.........

How often have you found yourself doing something that, if it was in a horror movie you’d be yelling at yourself for doing? I always yell at the dumb blond who goes to investigate the strange noise but when I’m home alone and hear something the FIRST thing I do is get up and slowly check things out. In THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, Director, writer, and producer Ti West builds suspense out of moments like these, and sustains it for as long as possible. Just when you think the film is going to end up all build up and no pay off……..

It starts with a plucky young college freshman getting her first apartment (from Dee Wallace stone by the way, the mom from E.T!) and needs some quick cash. Her airheaded but loyal friend is sympathetic, and points her in the direction of the college bulletin board. It’s here that she finds a “babysitter needed” post with just the above message and a phone number. She calls the guy on a pay phone (yea, remember those) and sets things up for that night. Her friend drives her to the house during a much talked about full eclipse of the moon and sits with her while the old stuttering awkward man of the house tells her he got her there under false pretences. His reasoning does add up, and for her troubles he offers her twice the original amount. A tempting bargain, especially since she’s next to broke, and needs a down payment for that brand new apartment. She agrees even though as an audience member you’re screaming “what the hell is wrong with you?” This is where the film starts its spiral down to insanity. The friend leaves, only to end up getting quite possibly the single best scare scene since that chick got hit by the bus in Final Destination. It comes out of left field, and I wont’ spoil it here, suffice to say it puts you on edge which is where you’ll stay for the rest of the film.

The girl that stays soon meets the creepy old mans wife, who comes off as an over eager lesbian which is almost funny, until it makes you uncomfortable. The whole film does this to chilling effect. For example, the father says he’s going to go upstairs to get the misses so they can leave for the evening, and walks up the grand staircase. She eavesdroppes on him speaking to what we assume is his wife about something sinister only for the real wife to slowly emerge from the basement behind her. Who was he talking to? What was she doing in the basement the whole time? And why is she all over the babysitters business? As soon as they leave the sitter does what any of us would do, and go through their stuff. You KNOW you’ve done it. If you’re ever using the bathroom at a party you totally go through their cabinets and such. Well, here she slips on her walkman and rocks out to “moving in stereo” by the cars.

I will not be divulging ANYTHING else as to do so would spoil all the fun. This is the point of the film; it’s suspense from beginning to end. There are a few clues along the way such as an old family photo album that doesn’t quite mesh with the family history lesson she received at the beginning, and then there’s the whereabouts of that pizza delivery guy. But most of the time is spent with her slowly coming to realizations that, had they all been presented at once, would have been enough to send anyone running for the hills. However they are all spread out, and given a very ambiguous angle. You know the old adage if you put a frog in boiling water he’ll simply jump out, but if you put him in cool water, and slowly rise the heat, he’ll sit there and boil to death. After that first scare scene, there really is about an hour or so of this, which may put people off. This is NOT saw or hostel or the Texas chainsaw massacre. It’s the sixth sense, the omen or rosemary’s baby. The devils in the details and your patience will be rewarded. Once again I’m not going to ruin anything at all, but the last 15 to 20 minutes of this sucker is balls to the wall INSAINE! It’s rated R, and for a while I was doubting if that rating was warranted, and then………wow. I say this only to persuade those that don’t have the patience for such films to stick with it. Your patience is most definitely rewarded.

Special mention must be made to the era it takes place in. There is never a date specified. But the opening title’s and the 80’s music and the Farah Fawcett hair and the bulky Sony walkman give off a late 70’s, early 80’s vibe that goes a long way to setting up the foreboding atmosphere. When she’s left alone at the old dark house in the woods, you FEEL alone with her. There are no cell phones or computers. Just you and your thoughts, which is a very dangerous situation.

BRAND NEW SUGABABES VIDEO AND SINGLE "wear my kiss" IS FUTURISTIC ROBOT FETISH SEXY COOL!!!!

so some gay director (literally) just made a Nazi Zombie horror film staring a guy from PRISON BREAK.......YES!!!!!!

Joel Shoemaker is a crazy mofo. He got his start in the film industry as a window dresser at Bloomingdales in New York. (Really!) Then somehow got to make THE LOST BOYS, an 80’s classic horror comedy that jump started the careers of Corey Feldman, Kiefer Sutherland, and Corey Haim. The film was hot, sexy and cool. Verhoven went on to make some really amazing pictures, like A TIME TO KILL and TIGERLAND with Colin Ferrell and PHONEBOOTH and the most recent musical THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. There is a story that during the filming of PHANTOM, Mini Driver went up to him after a take and said “was that ok? I think I may have been a little over the top.” To which he responded with “well sweetie, people don’t pay for UNDER the top!” That sums him up perfectly. No matter what the films failings, if any, his pictures always look lavish and sumptuous and rich. After all, he also made BATMAN AND ROBIN and BATMAN FOREVER…..eek!

Enter BLOOD CREEK, a totally original hybrid of genres that come together to make one of the coolest horror films I’ve seen in a while. The films opens in sepia toned snap crackle pop 1930’s film stock, and true to form it takes place in the 1930’s. A German family is seen going about their farming duties on their barn in Wyoming; slaughtering the livestock, cleaning the house, and teaching their teenage daughter how to speak English with an American accent, so she’s not picked on at school. They have defected from the 3’d Reich, and want to start anew in America, setting up a very sympathetic group of people. Then they get a letter from Germany stating one of Hitler’s scientists needs to conduct experiments, and needs to do it in safety, outside of war torn Europe, and will pay the family handsomely if they allow this border to come live with them for a few months. Against the idea in principal. They are desperate for money, and are assured they will not have to participate or help this man in any way. The scientist, Dr. Worth shows up and starts asking about these rune stones, ancient rocks with Gaelic markings on them, brought over by the Vikings when they first landed on the American continent. It seems Hitler is obsessed with the occult, and these stone are said to hold magical powers, which this scientist is ordered to obtain and harness. Now, though the story above is fictional, all the details are in truth fact. The rune stones, Hitler doing extensive research into the occult, Germans defecting to America to start anew. See, I told you this was original!

The movie cuts to present day where a med student takes care of his ailing, abusive father, whose always going on and on about the “better son” who disappeared after a tour in Iraq, and “died like a hero.” Not long after this setup does the long lost brother (Dominic Purcell from PRISON BREAK) show up out of the blue one night, and taking his brother along for one hell of a ride. Apparently this war hero brother came home and on his way to a sweet family reunion was kidnapped by a family living in the sticks of Wyoming, and tortured. He escapes and enlists the aid of his brother to go exact revenge on this family from hell. Things take a “twilight zone-esque” twist when the family turns out to be the same from the beginning of the film, only they haven’t aged a day.

To go any further into the plot would spoil the fun. But just know that things get weird. I mean SUPER weird. For example, there is a possessed horse at one point that smashes through a window plucking out a poor guy and eats him. THE HORSE EATS HIM!!!!!! There are crazy exorcisms. There are decapitations by barbed wire. There are people killed, only to immediately reanimate as zombies and attack the very people they were fighting to protect moments earlier. OH and a full moon play an important part as well. Oh, and did I mention the monster chained in the basement? Yea, it’s weird, taking a page from the EVIL DEAD series of films, or even the most recent DRAG ME TO HELL. Anything goes, including the kitchen sink. The only thing missing is the jokey fun those other features had. There are no light hearted winks at the audience in this, it’s played straight.

I HIGHLEY recommend you see this movie, for the sheer audacity of it all. Think RUNNING SCARED only in horror film mode. Oh, and Verhovens panache and style are on full display, with every sequence being overlite, under cranked, or glossy. He goes berserk with the visual flourishes, but it only adds to the mad cap nature of this. Its one wild ride and a refreshingly original horror film.

And here is an OBNOXIOUS trailer that really doesn't do it any justice:

P.S. did they really mis-spell "magic" in there? WOW!!!!

KICK ASS just may be the coolest comic book film EVER!!!!

So there is the brand new poster for the action comedy from the director of LAYER CAKE, which was amazing by the way. If that doesn't do it for ya, then check out this clip:


HA-MAZING!!!!!! if your not sold on this after that clip (in spite of the fact that nicolas cage is for some reason wandering around on set while they filmed it apparently) then you don't have a pulse! here is the regular trailer that sells the film as a whole, but also doens't have any bad ass gunshots tot he face at point blank range like the above clip had:





KICK ASS comes out APRIL 16