PREDATORS

Topher Grace (yes, the dude from “that 70’s show) is running through the jungle at full speed screaming “shoot him already!” to his cohorts while an angry predator alien chases him down. Just in the nick of time a gunshot is heard and the predator drops. Once all the mercenaries gather around the body and topher grace chews them out for using him as bait, the sniper who took him out looks at her bullet lodged in a tree and ominously states “look, I didn’t hit him…I missed.” They all look down and realize they are inches away from the enemy now and completely vulnerable. This is but one of many “holy shit” moments that come at you in quick succession in PREDATORS, a pseudo sequel to the 87’ Schwarzenegger classic which also and wisely ignores the entire god awful predator vs. aliens films.

Another great “holy shit” moment: The opening credits. After the 20’Th century fox logo, smash cut to Adrian broody waking up while he’s free falling with a parachute strapped to his back. As he struggles to find the rip cord, the clouds he’s falling through clear to reveal a dense jungle. He pulls his cord seconds before hitting the top layer, crashing through foliage and branches until slamming onto the ground. PREDATORS slaps across the screen for a few seconds, and its back to the film.

Robert Rodriguez and Nimrod Antel (what an unfortunate name, but he made VACANCY, so I’ll give him a break) have crafted a near perfect summer adult entertainment. The plot is simple and to the point. There is no attempt to re invent the wheel here. They take the first film and build off its mythology, but never is there a sit down exposition scene. The characters are in the dark as to why they landed on this strange planet, and therefore so is the audience. What works is they have cast each person with a well known character actor. Yes, they are all fodder and you can see a mile away which ones will make it and which ones won’t, but its fun to see these guys cram as much character development into their brief scenes as they can.

Speaking of getting killed off, holey shit! I won’t spoil too much as most, if not all the fun in watching this sucker is to see all the inventive and violent and GORY AS HELL ways everyone gets picked off. One highlight I will share is this: someone gets their spine ripped out of their backs from the base all the way up to the skull…..while they are still alive! And that’s not even the coolest one.
It’s fast as lightening, full of fun and interesting characters, and doesn’t get bogged down with useless exposition. For some reason this summer at the movies has been an epic failure (remember IRON MAN 2? Yea, neither does anyone else) But thankfully PREDATORS has stepped up to the plate and delivers on all fronts. I can’t recommend this enough if you’re an action or horror fan.

• Side note. Adrian Brody is JACKED in this film. As in……holy shit is that a 10 pack?!?!?!?!! Wasn’t he a skinny wiry little fellow in his last movie? Homeboy been hittin the GYM!!!!!!!!!